U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
