fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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