Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
