Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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