Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
