I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
