I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
