Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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