I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
