i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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