Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize