He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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