so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
