...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
