Christians are straight up FREAKS
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
