i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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