the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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