Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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