Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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