I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
