I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
