This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
