I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize