evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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