Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
