I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Fuck appropriateness.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
