oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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