Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
