it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
