If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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