I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
