I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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