I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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