forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize