I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
