Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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