And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
