I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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