Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
