We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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