im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
