Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh god it's open bar.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
