Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

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(631): View more from New York

guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

(1-631): View more from New York

whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

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(281): View more from Texas

I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?

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(646): View more from New York

classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?

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(925): View more from California

I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??

(510): View more from California

I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5

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