In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
