Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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