Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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