Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
