my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
