just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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