I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
