today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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