At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
