I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
