HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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