I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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