I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
