OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
