lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
