didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
