Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
