Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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