Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
