Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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