i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
