put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
