but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize