Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
