If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
