how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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