Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
