it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
