so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
