3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
