I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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