eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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