your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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