fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Drunk is a universal language darling
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