i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
